Hi, my name is Mrs. Pie and I have an addiction

Dear Target, We've been together, what, 16 years? I remember the first time I laid eyes on you - your strong symbol outside, the shelves glistening with product after product, your attractive selection of health & beauty products. Oh, and let's not even get into how I drooled over your $1 bins and your clearance sections - your clearance makes my heart skip a beat. We've been together for a long long time - longer than I've been with my husband. And I know, over the years, I have been to other stores. I have! But I've always come back to you. Even when I got married and my husband didn't understand why I had to be with you for hours during 1 shopping trip to get toothpaste, I still knew, we had something special. But Target, I am sad to say that I finally come to the conclusion that we have a co-dependency relationship and that I am addicted to you. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? The Monday after Easter, I risked being late to work to peruse the aisle for Easter candy and other discounted items. I shoved my way in there with the other housewives, hoping for that deal. It also could be that we are now stocked with 20 bars of soap, 150 trash bags, an endless supply of ziploc bags and kleenex and also a ton of disinfectant wipes. Where is this going, you ask? Target, I am so sorry but I pledge to not visit you for meaningless items (only necessary groceries and household items). I am so very sorry but I need a break. I will try this for 30 days to give us the time that we so desperately need. I hope you understand. However, still feel free to send a store coupon my way so that I can hold on to it after the break. I will always hold a special place for you in my heart. Sincerely, Mrs. Pie